…oh, and did I mention I was naked? And smoking a blunt the size of my head? (Image censored by the Committee for Family Values – click for NSFW version)
OK… you got me. I didn’t really do any of that – not in the physical world at least. All of those experiences were limited to my brief excursion (assigned by my New Media Theory class) into Second Life under the alias “Nokondi Mumfuzz.”
First, a technical criticism. Even though I was running the game on a fairly fast computer with plenty of memory, it still lagged like crazy. If I was in a crowded area, I would often have to wait for a minute or two before objects and people started to appear.
So, aside from technical difficulties, how did I spend my time in Second Life? Trying as hard as I could to get kicked out, of course! Almost as soon as I started exploring, a helpful fellow traveler sent me a message telling me that I was ugly, and that everyone would think I was ugly until I got some better clothes. With that thoughtful advice in mind, I began browsing for clothing options. I ended up finding “Neva’s XXX Emporium, freebies, clothing store, and orgy room” listed under clothing sales (after I turned off the adult filter, of course). It sounded interesting, so I decided to teleport there. Upon arrival, I quickly found the “freebies” area, where I outfitted myself with a killer dragon tattoo, various types of smoking paraphernalia, some “designer” clothes, and a penis. Rather than stick around to watch hordes of lonely people act out their fanatasies online, I decided to head back out to the more kosher areas of Second Life, with my newfound goodies in tow.
The first problem I encountered was learning how to wear the new things I had purchased. The first few times I attempted to do this, I ended up with a large box sticking out of my head! Finally, another helpful soul approached me and said “U gotta unpack it dumass [sic].” After figuring out how to do that, I was finally able to attach my penis, start smoking my blunt, and begin harassing people.
Which brings us back to the beginning of my story… So there I am: I’ve grown tired of pissing off random strangers. I’ve become weary of this “second life.” I take up my meditation pose (another “freebie” from Neva’s XXX Emporium) and sit for awhile to ponder the meaning of Second Life. That’s when it hit me: there is no essential meaning to this virtual world! It’s all what you make of it. You can be helpful, like the two kind strangers who reminded me of how ugly and stupid I was in the hopes that I would use their comments as impetus to better myself (I’m sure that if there was such a thing as Second Life reincarnation, they’d be coming back as cows!); you can be a total douchebag like me and waste an hour trying to offend people; or (I suppose) you could mind your own business, have a little fun, maybe meet some people… I don’t know… do what you do in your first life… or something different. It’s your call.
The second virtual world I visited for this week’s assignment was LambdaMOO, a fully text-based virtual world (referred to as a MUD, or “multi-user dungeon”). I found LambdaMOO to be a much more compelling world than Second Life, partially due to the fact that there were no technology issues. The text told me what to imagine, and I imagined it (i.e. “You are in a sewer surrounded by bugs and stinking refuse. There is an exit to the north”). Interacting with people in this world was interesting too. I had a brief chat with someone named Doom-something-or-other-I-can’t-rememer. I also gave a girl named Melki a severed arm that I found in a farm house. All of this was done by entering text commands into the interface.
After exploring for awhile, shortly before I decided to end my excursion into LambdaMOO, I read this quote on a sewer wall:
“It is said – it was a man from the far North who told me – it is said that, in certain parts of Scandinavia, there are cities within cities, just as there are circles within circles, existent yet invisible. And those cities are inhabited by creatures more terrible than imagintion can create; man-shaped but man-devouring, as black and silent as the night they prowl in.”